I grew up in an ordinary little family in the countryside of southern Taiwan. I had no idea who Jesus was, or who God was. Where I come from there is a shrine every three steps and a temple every five. Christmas, as far as I knew, was a holiday with a tree and a Santa who brought presents. Only after I came to know Jesus did I find out that Christmas is the day God’s only Son was born.
我來自台灣南部鄉下一個平凡的小家庭。我從不知道誰是耶穌，誰是上帝，因為我的生長環境是三步一宮，五步一廟；自己所知道的聖誕節，就是有聖誕樹和聖誕老公公送禮物的假日。直到認識耶穌後，我才知道聖誕節是上帝的獨生子耶穌基督誕生的日子。
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.John 1:14
道成了肉身，住在我們中間，充充滿滿地有恩典有真理。我們也見過他的榮光，正是父獨生子的榮光。約翰福音 1:14
God let me meet Him in a foreign country, and He waited until I was past thirty. Then He gave me more grace than I can count. That is what I want to tell you about.
神讓我在異鄉、並且在而立之年後認識祂，更給我多到數不盡的恩典，我願與各位分享。
2006
二〇〇六年
In 2006 I got the chance to come to America to study for the TOEFL and apply to schools. It did not take long to find out how frightening it is to spend US dollars, so with a relative’s help I found a job, and that was the start of what I called my life without sun. Out of the house in the morning before the sun was up, then class in the evening until gone ten before I got home. Burning the candle at both ends wore down my body and my grades at the same time, and I did not want to take money from my family, so I decided to put my studies on hold.
二〇〇六年，我有機會來到美國準備托福和申請學校，期間我發現花美金真的很恐怖，於是在親戚的幫助下找到一份工作，開始了「見不到太陽的生活」：早上太陽還未出現就要出門工作，接著晚上上課到十點多才回家。蠟燭兩頭燒的生活，讓我的身體和學業成績每況愈下，自己也不想跟家裡拿錢，於是決定先暫停學業。
After that, my life turned into swallowing whatever I had to swallow at work, and then eating, drinking and messing about with friends once the shift was over. But late at night, when it all went quiet, my head would start tying itself in knots. How long can I hold on to this status? Do I stay in America or go back to Taiwan? I was not willing to go home like this. I had to be a cockroach you cannot kill, and tough it out a bit longer.
暫停學業後，生活重心就變成在工作上忍氣吞聲，下班後與朋友的吃喝玩樂上。可是每當夜深人靜時，我的思緒又開始糾結在：「我這樣的身分可以保持到什麼時候？要留在美國還是回台灣？可是我又不甘心就這樣回去，我要有小強的精神，再熬一下！」
2011
二〇一一年
In 2011 I changed jobs. My pay was worked out from the hours I actually spent serving customers. It started off well enough, with a project running, but the project was stopped before long and my income fell to an average of three figures a month. I started working out how to earn more and spend less, and I remembered something a relative had said: in America, going to church is a good way to build contacts. The trouble was that I had never once set foot in a church. How was I supposed to walk into one? An old white gentleman in a shopping mall had spoken Taiwanese to me, chatted a while and invited me to his church, and at the time I had no interest at all. Then, as it happened, a friend asked me along to a church, saying the pork-chop lunchbox there was tasty, cheap and a decent size. So I went with him to take a look, and to see whether I could widen my contacts and make a bit more money.
二〇一一年，我換了新工作，收入是根據實際服務客人的時數計算。剛開始還不錯，有一個專案在進行；可是沒多久專案被停掉，我的收入驟降到每月平均只有三位數。我開始計劃如何開源節流，就想起親戚說過：在美國去教會可以建立人脈。可是我一輩子都沒去過教會，要怎麼去呢？甚至之前我在 shopping mall 遇到一位會講台灣話的白人老先生，和我聊天並約我去他們的教會，我那時打從心裡就不會想去。很巧，有朋友約我去一個教會，說那裏的排骨便當好吃便宜又大碗。於是就跟朋友去了那間教會看看，並想試著擴展人脈增加收入。
What happened instead was that God used His word, and the people and the things in that church, to change my heart slowly. At church I saw what it means to really worship God. In the small group I felt the warmth of a family, and I heard a lot of testimonies of faith.
結果，神用祂的話語和教會的人事物慢慢改變了我的心。在教會，我看到什麼是真正的敬拜上帝；在小組，我感受到家的溫暖，並聽見許多信心的見證。
Baptism was the one thing I could not get past. Even when my friend and my younger brother decided to be baptised together, I still did not want it. The day after they said so in the small group, I was on the phone to my parents in Taiwan and the conversation went badly. When it ended I was angry enough to throw the phone at my computer screen, and the screen cracked. My own behaviour frightened me, and I was sorry for the words my parents and I had traded. Two days later, on the Sunday, every sentence of the sermon went straight into me. When it finished, everyone stood up to worship and I stayed in my seat with tears running down my face, crying so hard no sound came out. Inside I was shouting, “I am so fed up and so tired. If You really are God, I am willing to hand You all of it. Please come and help me.” Then a very strong peace came into my heart and kept coming. So I decided to be baptised with my friend and my brother.
可是我自己對受洗這一關很難克服，甚至朋友和弟弟決定一起受洗了，我都還不想接受洗禮。就在朋友與弟弟在小組中決定受洗的隔天，我與台灣的父母親通了電話，可是談話內容很不愉快，結束通話後我氣到把電話摔到電腦螢幕上，把螢幕摔裂了。我自己也被這樣的舉動嚇到，也很後悔與父母親惡言相向。兩天後的主日，我在教會聽到的講道內容字字扎入我的心裡，講道結束所有人站立敬拜，我卻坐在椅子上淚流滿面，泣不成聲，我心裡吶喊：「我好煩好累啊！如果祢真的是神，我願意把所有煩惱交給祢！請祢來幫助我！」突然，有一股很強大的平安一直進入我的心，於是我決定與我的朋友和弟弟一起接受洗禮。
After the baptism
受洗之後
After I was baptised, one of the older members of the church encouraged me with a word from God.
受洗後，教會的長輩用一句神的話語鼓勵我。
16Rejoice always, 17pray without ceasing, 18in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.1 Thessalonians 5:16–18
16要常常喜樂，17不住地禱告，18凡事謝恩；因為這是神在基督耶穌裡向你們所定的旨意。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16–18
Life did not change much after that. My income was still three figures. But I became a joyful person. When something hard came up, worship, prayer and reading God’s word were what got me through it.
受洗後的生活沒有改變很多，收入一樣還是三位數，可是我卻變得很喜樂。生活上當我遇到困難時，會用敬拜讚美、禱告和讀神的話語，來幫助我渡過難關。
I still had tuition to pay to keep my status legal. A month or so before the deadline my car was hit twice, once at the front and once at the back, both times when the other car was barely moving. I could not have been more fed up. I was already worried about not being able to pay the tuition, and now this kept happening. I did complain to God about it. He answered me through my girlfriend at the time, who is now my wife, and she reminded me what the Bible says.
其實我仍要繳學費來維持自己的合法身分，就在繳費期限前的一個多月，我的車被撞了兩次，一次前面，一次後面，而且都是在車速極慢的情況下被撞，那時我心中不爽到極點，已經在擔心學費繳不出來了，還連續發生這種倒楣事。其實我有跟神埋怨，可是神透過我那時的女朋友，就是我現在的老婆，點醒我聖經說的話。
I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.Jeremiah 29:11
我向你們所懷的意念是賜平安的意念，不是降災禍的意念，要叫你們末後有指望。耶利米書 29:11
The Holy Spirit moved me to pray a prayer of confession and repentance, and to worship God for what He had done, and the sourness in me was swapped for peace straight away. Half a month before the tuition deadline, the compensation from those two accidents came to exactly what my tuition cost. Looking back now, I am so grateful. I was hit, and I was safe, and God arranged it that way so that I would know for myself that He is there.
聖靈感動我要做認罪悔改的禱告，並敬拜讚美神的作為，心中的不爽馬上被平安給取代了。在繳學費期限前半個月，這兩次事故所賠償的數目剛剛好供應我的學費。現在回想起來，真的很感謝神，雖然被撞，可是我人是安全的，神安排這樣的事情，讓我真實體會到祂的存在。
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.2 Corinthians 12:9
他對我說：「我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。」所以，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。哥林多後書 12:9
2012
二〇一二年
In 2012 the Holy Spirit led me into serving at church and into the equipping classes, and my spiritual life was built up. I started to like one of the sisters in the small group. I asked the advice of an older brother in the Lord, our zone leader, and of my boss and his wife, who had been through it before me. All of them encouraged me. While I was fasting and praying, the Holy Spirit laid two things on me.
二〇一二年，聖靈帶領我參與教會服事和裝備課程，讓我的靈命有所建造。我開始對小組的一位姐妹有好感，徵詢主內的長輩區長，與前輩，我當時的老闆和老闆娘，他們都很鼓勵我；自己透過禁食禱告，聖靈給我兩句感動。
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.Proverbs 3:5–6
你要專心仰賴耶和華，不可倚靠自己的聰明，在你一切所行的事上都要認定他，他必指引你的路。箴言 3:5–6
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?1 Corinthians 6:19
豈不知你們的身子就是聖靈的殿嗎？這聖靈是從神而來，住在你們裡頭的；並且你們不是自己的人。哥林多前書 6:19
So I began reading the Bible properly and carefully, and I gave up smoking and gave up eating and drinking far more than I should. I started pursuing that sister. We got to know each other through serving at church, through reading the Bible and through praying, and we went out with building a family in mind. Our immigration status was still unclear at the time, for both of us. We prayed a great deal about it, and in our pre-marriage counselling the pastor and his wife prayed for us and encouraged us, and we had peace and faith that came from God. So we handed the status problem over to God, and at the beginning of 2013 we married.
於是我開始認真用心的讀聖經，同時也戒掉以前抽菸和暴飲暴食的壞習慣。我開始追求這位姐妹，我們透過教會的服事、讀經和禱告更了解彼此，也朝建立家庭的方向交往。其實那時我們彼此的身分問題還是不明朗，我們自己透過很多的禱告，並在婚前輔導裡牧師與師母的代禱與鼓勵，有從神來的平安與信心，我們就將身分的問題交給神，然後在二〇一三年年初，結婚成為夫妻。
2013
二〇一三年
In 2013 my wife received her green card a week before her birthday. In the middle of the year we held the wedding we had not had, keeping everything simple, and the brothers and sisters of our small group and our church threw themselves into helping us. It turned into a wedding full of warmth and blessing. Even my parents, who had never had anything to do with a church, could not praise it enough. Then my own green card came the day before my birthday.
二〇一三年，老婆在她生日前一星期收到綠卡；年中補辦婚禮，一切從簡，可是小組和教會弟兄姐妹們傾心的幫忙，讓我們的婚禮真的是一個充滿溫馨與祝福的婚禮，連我從沒接觸過教會的父母都讚賞有加；接著我也在我的生日前一天收到綠卡。
God had sorted out the problem of staying in America. The next thing I worried about was my work and my income. A three-figure income simply cannot keep a household running, so we lifted that worry up to God again, and I went looking hard for new work. Before long God used a sister in the small group to introduce me to a job, and He brought me into the company I am still with, where there is room for me to use what I can do and to learn a great deal that is new. What I am even more thankful for is that the managers there are older brothers in the Lord, and they often remind us that the work we do is meant to glorify God and benefit people. And the income I had been so worried about went up to nearly three times what it was. All of this is grace, and I am so grateful. Glory to God.
神幫助我們把留在美國的身分問題解決了，我接著擔心就是我的工作和收入。三位數的收入實在無法去維持一個家庭的開銷，於是我們把這擔憂再次向神獻上禱告，同時也積極的去找新的工作機會。不久，神透過小組的一位姊妹介紹一個工作，感謝神也讓我進到現在的公司，賜給我有一個可以發揮能力和學習很多新知識的舞台；更感謝神的是公司的主管也是主內的長輩，他們常鼓勵我們要做的是「榮神益人」的工作；當然，我最擔憂的收入變成幾乎有三倍多。這一切的恩典真的要很感謝神，把榮耀歸給神！
2014
二〇一四年
In 2014 God’s grace stayed with us, only that year He gave it by a different route.
來到二〇一四年，神的恩典一直與我們同在，只是今年用了不一樣的方法賜給我們。
Early in the year the old master of our house, our twelve-year-old dog, suddenly collapsed. He would not eat or drink, and when it was bad his body kept twitching. Beyond running some tests the vet could not help, and even suggested we think about putting him to sleep. The two of us were completely at a loss. All we could do was pray and cry out to God together. Thank God, he is back to normal now, the same dog who loves his food and his water. Going through that, we understood what it feels like to face losing someone in the family, and we came to know our own weakness and how little we have.
年初時，我們家的老爺，一隻十二歲的高齡老狗，突然病倒了，不吃不喝，嚴重時身體還會持續抽搐；醫生除了做一些檢查外也無法幫什麼，甚至還建議我們考慮打針安樂死。我們倆真的是手足無措，只能一起向神禱告呼求。感謝神，牠現在恢復正常，變回以前愛吃愛喝的樣子。我們經過這次的事件，體會到面對親人即將離去的感覺，也真正知道自己的軟弱和不足。
In May we took part in the church’s healing and deliverance course and had individual ministry, and the two of us received a lot of healing and release, especially about having children. My wife told me herself that she had more faith now to accept being pregnant and then raising a child. We both held the question of children loosely. We believed a child is God’s grace and God’s inheritance, so we would not force it, and we would not refuse her if she came.
五月時，我們參與教會的醫治釋放課程和個別服事，讓我們倆得到很多的醫治和釋放，尤其是在有小孩這一塊，老婆親口告訴我比較有信心去接受懷孕然後養育小孩。其實我們對於有小孩都抱著順其自然的心態，都認為說孩子是神的恩典和產業，不會去強求，也不會拒絕她的來臨。
One Saturday morning in August, while the car was being serviced, I watched a television programme about a father and his child, and out of nowhere I was moved enough to message my wife and ask her whether she thought I would be a good dad. She seemed to catch it from me, and started asking me to spend more time close to God and to train my body.
八月的某個星期六早晨，我去做車子的保養時，看了一個父親與小孩互動的電視節目，我突然很被感動的傳訊息問老婆說：你覺得我會是一個好爸爸嗎？老婆似乎也被我感染一樣，會要求我有更多時間去親近神和操練身體。
On the last long weekend of the summer, at the end of August, we had a lovely day at the beach. The next day at Sunday service my wife suddenly had fierce pain in her abdomen, bad enough that she could not stand up. The day after that I could see something was wrong and drove straight to the emergency room. After a day of waiting and tests, the doctor said there was an eighty per cent chance it was an ectopic pregnancy and a twenty per cent chance it would turn into a normal one, and we had to wait another forty-eight hours for a second blood test. It hit the two of us hard. All we could do was accept the facts and look to God for comfort through prayer.
八月底夏天最後的長週末，我們有了一天很開心的海邊之旅，隔天去教會主日，老婆突然腹痛的很激烈，痛到站不起來。再隔一天我看情形不對，馬上飛車去急診，經過一天的等待與檢查之後，醫生診斷百分之八十是子宮外孕，可是還有百分之二十可能會變成正常懷孕，讓我們再等四十八小時做第二次抽血檢查。當下我們倆受到很大的打擊，但也只能接受事實，並靠著禱告尋求神的安慰。
Three days later my wife suddenly had severe pain again and we went back to the emergency room. In under twenty minutes she had been wheeled in and was being booked straight into surgery. It was all so sudden and so fast that I did not know what to do with myself, and I asked the doctor whether we could see the blood test first. He told me off: her life is in danger and you are asking about a blood test. They wheeled my wife into the operating theatre, and all I could do was wait in the hospital and say the Lord’s Prayer over and over under my breath, because I was too panicked to know how to pray.
隔三天，老婆突然又嚴重腹痛，我們回到急診室，不到二十分鐘的時間，老婆就被推進急診，並馬上被安排要開刀，因為事情實在太突然太快了，我整個人手足無措，問醫生可以先看驗血報告嗎？醫生罵我說已經有生命危險了，還看什麼驗血報告！老婆被推進手術房，我能做的只能在醫院裡等待，並持續默念主禱文，因為我那時慌到不知怎樣禱告。
A few hours later my wife was moved to recovery, then to a ward to be watched overnight, and she came home the next afternoon. She had to rest at home for at least two weeks and look after herself after the surgery. I am so grateful that God watched over us like that, and that the brothers and sisters of our church and our small group went to any trouble to help us, to visit us, to hold us up in prayer. Our life got back to normal quickly, and my wife’s body healed quickly too.
經過幾個小時，老婆被轉去恢復室，然後被轉去觀察病房留院觀察，隔天下午就出院回家。老婆要在家裡休息至少兩個星期，除了休息還要注意術後的保養。很感謝神這樣看顧著我們，教會和小組的弟兄姐妹不辭勞苦的來幫助我們、探訪我們、用禱告托住我們，讓我們生活很快恢復正常，老婆的身體也很快地康復起來。
Even now, when I am on my own, I still think about that child who is already beside God. Was it a boy or a girl? Did he look like me, or like my wife? But I know that on the day we see the Lord face to face, he will come over to meet us, and we will worship and praise God together.
如今，有時一個人時還是會想起那已經在神身旁的小孩，不知它是男是女？長得像我還是像老婆呢？可是我知道在我們見主面那天，他一定會過來見我們，並且我們會一起在天堂敬拜讚美神。
16And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. 17For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.John 1:16–17
16從他豐滿的恩典裡，我們都領受了，而且恩上加恩。17律法本是藉著摩西傳的；恩典和真理都是由耶穌基督來的。約翰福音 1:16–17
In these years in America, since I accepted Jesus Christ, God has given a man as ordinary and as weak as me a great deal of grace in my life. Something that looks to me like a dead end turns out, in God’s plan, to be the way through. If there is trouble or difficulty in your life, now or later on, Jesus Christ can be your best helper and your best friend.
來美國的這幾年，接受耶穌基督後，神一直給我這普通且軟弱的人很多生命的恩典，有時在我看起來是個難關，可是在神的計劃裡卻是一個轉機。如果在你的生命中，或許是現在，或許是未來，遇到煩惱或困難的事情時，耶穌基督可以成為你最好的幫助者和最好的朋友。
6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:6–7
6應當一無罣慮，只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝，將你們所要的告訴神。7神所賜出人意外的平安，必在基督耶穌裡保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6–7