We were worshipping together just now and my husband started crying. I asked him why. He said his love for me is weak. I have had a rotten cold these last two days, and he put in a full day at work and then came home and looked after me and Mocha. It has been hard on him. Love is a choice.
剛才和老公一起敬拜，他哭了。我問他為什麼哭，他說他對我的愛很軟弱。這兩天我大傷風，老公一整天忙完放工，回來還要照顧我和 Mocha。真的辛苦你了。愛是一種選擇。
On the Tuesday I got off work with a headache and I could not stop sneezing, so I had meant to stay home and rest. In the end I chose to drag my weak body along to The Call anyway. After the class we split into little groups to go out. I told my group leader I was not well and did not want to do any of the talking. Of course the American leading us was never going to let me off.
星期二下班，我頭痛又勁哈啾，本來想在家休息，結果還是選擇拖著軟弱的身體去「呼召事工」。上完課之後，又是分小小組出去外訪。我跟組長說身體不適，不想說話，但老外當然是不會理我。
And then look who we ended up standing in front of. A sixty-six-year-old Marine. He had come home from service the day before. Three of us were doing the questionnaire: me, a male group leader in his thirties, and a sixteen-year-old girl. Some of what we said to each other is below.
奇妙的是，這次的對象竟然是一位六十六歲的海軍陸戰隊老兵。他剛剛完兵回來第二天。這次的問卷由三個人負責：我、一位三十多歲的男組長，和一位十六歲的女生。下面記錄了我們部分的對話。
The sixteen-year-oldIf you died today, do you think you would go to heaven?
十六歲的女生如果你今天離世，你認為你會去天堂嗎？
The old soldierI don’t know.
老兵不知道。
The sixteen-year-oldIf God asked you why He should let you into heaven, what would you say?
十六歲的女生如果神問你，為何我要讓你進天堂，你會怎樣回答？
The old soldierYou made everything. You’re the boss. If you don’t let me in, there is nothing I can do about it.
老兵你是創造萬物的那一位，你是老大。你准不准我進去，我也沒辦法。
From there he kept going, telling us about the close calls in forty years in uniform. One time he nearly died and saw the light of death, and then God would not take him. He said he is a military man, he has discipline, he believes in God, and he does the best he can.
之後他繼續跟我們訴說四十年當兵生涯裡的驚險。有一次他近乎死亡，見到死亡的光，後來神又不接收他。他說他是軍人，有紀律，相信神，也盡量做好自己。
MeHeaven is a gift God gives us. It is not something you can earn with good behaviour.
我天堂是神給我們的禮物，不是靠好行為賺得的。
8For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9not of works, lest anyone should boast.Ephesians 2:8–9
8你們得救是本乎恩，也因着信；這並不是出於自己，乃是神所賜的；9也不是出於行為，免得有人自誇。以弗所書 2:8–9
MeThen I used my uncle and aunt as a picture. A few years ago my uncle’s kidneys failed, and my aunt gave him one of hers. The surgery went very well. My uncle is grateful, of course. But he is never going to turn round and say to her, how about I pay you back a little every month for your great kindness. Saying that would be a foolish thing. The kidney came out of her own willing, unconditional love for him. God’s grace to us is the same. And the Bible says that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” — Romans 3:23. Do you have sin?
我然後我用伯父伯母的故事作比喻。伯父幾年前腎衰竭，伯母捐了自己一個腎給他，手術很成功。伯父當然很感激，但他不會跟伯母說：「不如我每個月分期付款給你一些錢，報答你的厚愛。」這樣說就很蠢了。因為那個腎是出於伯母對伯父甘心、無條件的愛。神對我們的恩典也是這樣。而聖經說「因為世人都犯了罪，虧缺了神的榮耀」，羅馬書 3:23。你有罪嗎？
The old soldierI am a soldier. I try not to. I try to keep the Ten Commandments.
老兵我是軍人，盡量不犯。盡量遵守十誡。
MeI sin every day. Bad temper. Judging people. Jesus said that if you look at a woman and want her, you have sinned already. Let me ask you something. If you were very thirsty, and there was a glass of cold clean water in front of you, would you drink it?
我我每天都犯罪，臭脾氣，論斷別人。耶穌說，若你看婦人時動淫念，已經是罪。如果你很口渴，在你面前有一杯冰涼乾淨的水，你會喝嗎？
The old soldierYes.
老兵會。
MeIf I dropped one drop of poison into it, would you drink it?
我如果我放一滴毒藥下去，你會喝嗎？
The old soldierOf course not.
老兵當然不會。
Our group leaderThat is what sin is like. A trace of it is enough to taint your whole life.
組長罪就是這樣，就算一丁點，也足以沾污你一生。
He went quiet for a while. Then he said his wife died of kidney failure a few years ago. He told us, honestly, I am a normal man, and back then all I could do was hold her hand, take her clothes off and be tender with her. Nobody said anything for a moment.
老兵靜默了一會，然後說，他老婆幾年前是腎衰竭死的。他說，老實告訴你們，我是一個正常的男人，那時我只能拖著她的手，脫掉她的衣服溫存。大家靜了一會。
Our group leaderThe Bible says that sex inside a marriage is blessed.
組長聖經說，婚姻裡的性是被祝福的。
18Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.Proverbs 5:18–19
18要使你的泉源蒙福；要喜悅你幼年所娶的妻。19她如可愛的麀鹿，可喜的母鹿；願她的胸懷使你時時知足，她的愛情使你常常戀慕。箴言 5:18–19
All of usLaughed.
大家笑。
The old soldierTo tell you the truth, I am sixty-six now and my wife is gone. I do not know whether I will want another woman that way.
老兵老實說，我現在六十六歲，老婆不在了，也不知道自己會不會對別的女人起淫念。
Our group leaderThe Bible says God is love. He loves the sinner and He hates the sin. Say I lived in a small town and went and robbed the bank, and the only judge in that town was my own father. Do you think he should find me guilty?
組長聖經說神是愛。他愛罪人，但恨惡罪。如果我住在一個小鎮，去銀行打劫，而小鎮裡唯一的法官是我爸爸，你認為他應該判我有罪嗎？
The old soldierIf he is a good judge, he would.
老兵如果他是好法官，他會。
Our group leaderDo you think it would hurt him?
組長你認為他會傷痛嗎？
The old soldierYes.
老兵會。
Our group leaderThe Bible says every person is written down in a book of life. If the first page is your birth certificate and the last page is the record of your death, everything in between is what you did, the good and the bad. How many sins do you think are in your book?
組長聖經說，每個人都記錄在生命冊裡。如果第一頁是你的出生證明，最後一頁是你的死亡記錄，中間記錄的就是你所做過的好和不好。你想會有多少罪在那本書裡？
The old soldierToo many to count.
老兵不能盡數。
Our group leaderWhen Jesus was nailed to the cross He called out tetelestai. It is Greek and it means “it is finished”. The same word turns up on bills in ancient Greece, where it meant “paid in full”. On the cross Jesus paid our sin in full.
組長耶穌被釘十字架的時候，他喊了一聲 tetelestai。這是希臘文，意思是「成了」。這個字也會出現在古代希臘的賬單上，意思是「付清」。耶穌釘在十架上，為我們把罪付清了。
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.Isaiah 53:6
我們都如羊走迷；各人偏行己路；耶和華使我們眾人的罪孽都歸在他身上。以賽亞書 53:6
Our group leaderOne of the criminals crucified beside Jesus said, God, I am a sinner, please forgive my sin. Jesus told him that today he would be with Him in paradise. Who do you think Jesus is?
組長和耶穌一同釘十架的一個犯人說：「神呀，我有罪，請你赦免我的罪。」耶穌告訴他，今天他要和他一起進天國。你認為耶穌是誰？
The old soldierI have heard He is the Son of God. But I cannot see Him and I cannot touch Him.
老兵我聽說他是神的兒子，但我看不見他，摸不到他。
Our group leaderThis is how the Bible describes Jesus.
組長聖經是這樣形容耶穌的。
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God. 3All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. … 14And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.John 1:1–3, 14
1太初有道，道與神同在，道就是神。2這道太初與神同在。3萬物是藉着他造的；凡被造的，沒有一樣不是藉着他造的。……14道成了肉身，住在我們中間，充充滿滿地有恩典有真理。我們也見過他的榮光，正是父獨生子的榮光。約翰福音 1:1–3、14
Our group leaderWill you choose to have Jesus as your own Saviour? It is a choice. And you need to know that faith in Jesus is more than believing He will keep your family, your work and your body safe. That kind is only temporary faith. Believing in Jesus is like being in a river in heavy waves, holding on tight to a log beside you, and someone throws you a life ring. You have to choose to let go of the thing you were holding, and reach out and take hold of the ring.
組長你願意選擇耶穌成為你個人的救主嗎？這是一個選擇。你要知道，你對耶穌的信心不只是在於他會保守你的家人、工作、身體，那只是暫時的信心。相信耶穌就好像你在大浪的河裡，緊緊捉住旁邊的一根木，有人掉了一個救生圈給你，你要選擇放開原來的倚靠，付諸行動去抓緊那個救生圈。
The old soldierI understand. I am willing to receive Him as my own Saviour.
老兵我清楚，我願意接受他成為我個人的救主。
My body was very weak that day, and I came home encouraged. I keep turning one thing over. I will happily tell anybody how good the lamb chops at Trader Joe’s are. And with this God, who is living and real, I hold back and hesitate with the people I love most.
雖然那天身體很軟弱，但我也很被鼓勵。我經常想，為什麼我會到處跟人分享 TJ 的羊排有多好味，但這位又活又真的神，我卻是這麼保留、這麼躊躇，不敢跟所愛的人分享呢？
This was a choice in the old soldier’s life. Nobody forced him. It was God’s grace.
這是老兵人生中的一個選擇。不是被逼的。是神的恩典。
6For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:6–8
6因我們還軟弱的時候，基督就按所定的日期為罪人死。7為義人死，是少有的；為仁人死，或者有敢做的。8惟有基督在我們還作罪人的時候為我們死，神的愛就在此向我們顯明了。羅馬書 5:6–8