My Story with Jesus
I was raised by my grandma who had strong Buddhist background. My grandma was a good person, so I thought I can believe in Buddhism as it teaches good works.
One summer break, I went back my parent home to visit my sister, she talked about Jesus on the way to home. Before entering the house, we saw a blue brochure placed on our door. It indicated Jesus Film would be played at night. It was just about the right time. We watched the movie together, I cried.
Growing up from a broke family, I felt hurt and being abandoned. One New Year Eve, I was hit by a taxi, my grandma tried to find my dad and mom, but she could not find them. I look strong but indeed I was vulnerable. No purpose, no hope and no direction.
After graduated, I stayed at a girl friend's place. One day, she told me she liked me, I was shock but I appreciated her love. We stayed together for 4 years, but I became more negative. We always complained the works, smoked and drunk together. Then I met a married man at work. I never thought I would run into an affair. However, he advised me to move in with him, so I could get away the situation. He grew up in church but was an atheist. One day, when he was out, I took his bible and I saw this verse: "Proverbs 5:18 May your fountain be blessed,and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 20 My son, why should you be carried away with a sinful woman and fall into the arms of a strange woman?"
When I decided to leave him, I found I got denied on the green card application which I waited for 4 years. Because I was working in United State for 6 years already, Most likely, I may not reapply the green card again by law. When I left from the lawyer office and drove back home, I could not control myself to cry hard. It was a rainy day, my tears and rain block my sight in front of the window. I complained to God why He brought me to the world. I tried very hard already. I emailed to the IT consultant who worked with me at that time. I told him I never need to deal with him and his pride again. He just replied me with this verse: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.(Proverbs 3:5-6)" God use a man whom I see as prideful to tell me "Trust in Lord".
After that, I decided to go church and explore God. My burden felt lighter during hang out with church people. They prayed for me. God allow me to reapplied green card. I spent almost all of my saving at that time. I need a total of US $9000 to reapply the green card. That year, I got a pay check with bonus over ten thousand. In Easter 2007, I baptized under the name of Jesus Christ. However, I still live the same life style. I was wrestled between the sweet of lust and God. However, through bible studying with a sister in Christ, I felt joy and peace. God Word takes me out from the bondage of sins. I choose God over temporary lust.
In one Saturday afternoon, I read Gospel of John, I felt heartache. I felt the real pain that Jesus was beaten, betrayed. How could He take all these? I thought his heart must be bleeding. I always felt bleeding heart, growing up from childhood. I felt overwhelming love. Even though I was abandon by everyone, God love and care me in personal level. I always felt I was unclean, but by recognizing I am a daughter of God, I know I am loved and precious. He took away my shame, forever!
Nothing should boast in my story. It is not of works, it is by God's mercy. I once was lost, but was found. Now, I have hope, purpose and direction of life. 1 Corinthians 9:26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.
One summer break, I went back my parent home to visit my sister, she talked about Jesus on the way to home. Before entering the house, we saw a blue brochure placed on our door. It indicated Jesus Film would be played at night. It was just about the right time. We watched the movie together, I cried.
Growing up from a broke family, I felt hurt and being abandoned. One New Year Eve, I was hit by a taxi, my grandma tried to find my dad and mom, but she could not find them. I look strong but indeed I was vulnerable. No purpose, no hope and no direction.
After graduated, I stayed at a girl friend's place. One day, she told me she liked me, I was shock but I appreciated her love. We stayed together for 4 years, but I became more negative. We always complained the works, smoked and drunk together. Then I met a married man at work. I never thought I would run into an affair. However, he advised me to move in with him, so I could get away the situation. He grew up in church but was an atheist. One day, when he was out, I took his bible and I saw this verse: "Proverbs 5:18 May your fountain be blessed,and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 20 My son, why should you be carried away with a sinful woman and fall into the arms of a strange woman?"
When I decided to leave him, I found I got denied on the green card application which I waited for 4 years. Because I was working in United State for 6 years already, Most likely, I may not reapply the green card again by law. When I left from the lawyer office and drove back home, I could not control myself to cry hard. It was a rainy day, my tears and rain block my sight in front of the window. I complained to God why He brought me to the world. I tried very hard already. I emailed to the IT consultant who worked with me at that time. I told him I never need to deal with him and his pride again. He just replied me with this verse: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.(Proverbs 3:5-6)" God use a man whom I see as prideful to tell me "Trust in Lord".
After that, I decided to go church and explore God. My burden felt lighter during hang out with church people. They prayed for me. God allow me to reapplied green card. I spent almost all of my saving at that time. I need a total of US $9000 to reapply the green card. That year, I got a pay check with bonus over ten thousand. In Easter 2007, I baptized under the name of Jesus Christ. However, I still live the same life style. I was wrestled between the sweet of lust and God. However, through bible studying with a sister in Christ, I felt joy and peace. God Word takes me out from the bondage of sins. I choose God over temporary lust.
In one Saturday afternoon, I read Gospel of John, I felt heartache. I felt the real pain that Jesus was beaten, betrayed. How could He take all these? I thought his heart must be bleeding. I always felt bleeding heart, growing up from childhood. I felt overwhelming love. Even though I was abandon by everyone, God love and care me in personal level. I always felt I was unclean, but by recognizing I am a daughter of God, I know I am loved and precious. He took away my shame, forever!
Nothing should boast in my story. It is not of works, it is by God's mercy. I once was lost, but was found. Now, I have hope, purpose and direction of life. 1 Corinthians 9:26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.